finances and blessings

as you may or may not have known. i have been struggling with financial debt for some time. this may not be surprising based on the knowledge that i'm a full time undergraduate student. however, this is considerably more than just borrowing money on loans. i was out of school for over 6 months this past year, thus forcing me into the dreaded payment status with the national students loans services. i made payments over the summer months, thinking that once i sent in the confirmation of enrollment form that is available off the internet osap application, everything would be taken care of. was i ever mistaken! they refused to process my loan application for this current school year, and compiled my outstanding interest to a date in october, making what i owe them over $320 in order to be elidgable to receive osap this year. but with school payments for tution, rent, hydro, phone and food to pay for, i was left with little over $5 in my bank account. that's not a lot, even for a child. but thank you lord i go to a christian institution where the financial aid office has quite generously not only sorted out miscommunications and errors made by national student loans, but also provided means by which i will be able to remain in school this year. it's just a huge blessing that has recently come my way, and i felt it deserved a post.

i just posted this entry on my xanga. i thought it would be worth putting up here too incase someone actually reads this. i dont always copy and paste the entries...just so you know.

Something to Think About

is it ever a wonder how important communication is in all aspects of life? for parents to children and vise versa the importance of clear and effective communication could be the difference between an openly rebelious and unruly child to one who is obedient and respectful. for friends and peers, communication is important to understand one's personal boundaries, what is appropriate and in what context one should address certain issues. for lovers, being able to express how one feels whether it be through words or actions is vital to maintaining a healthy relationship. there are many other examples that could be used such as sports teams, student/teacher relations, etc. the point i'm getting at that we do not communicate.
communication is by one definition: the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs. interchange...it goes both ways. you have to listen, pay attention if you want to communicate effectively.
another definition says communication is: activity by one organism that changes or has the potential to change the behavior of other organisms. what you communicate has the potential to change the behaviour of someone else. whether you know it or not, you are always communicating something to someone. yes, they could be mis interpretting it and need to pay closer attention, but you too need to be careful of what you are communicating to others.
so why talk about communication? there are numerous reasons, one being recent developments that have come from a lack of communication. the other being paul in galatians 2:2.
the amplified bible says that paul had a private meeting with the important officials and people of "repute" in the city before sharing the gospel message with the large crowds of gentiles. he did this because he wanted to clearly communicate to them the importance of Jesus as Messiah and the gospel message in a setting where there would be the least possible chance of miscommunicating something.
Communication is vital for us, not merely as people who live in this world, but as Christians who are called to share teh gospel with those around us, being a light to the nations and demonstrating the love of Christ. are we communicating these things in the way we live and what we say? something to think about...i know i have to.

"There are times in life when all else seemingly falls apart, but His love is strong, forever true and from you will never depart." - A Martin

I first said this in the computer lab at Tyndale, not really thinking about what i was saying; just trying to be poetic. I believe I was was engaged in conversation with Sarah Bulloch at the time. After I said it I thought it sounded quite good, so I wrote it down as my signature on my hotmail e-mail account. Now what is the freaking point?
The night I first made this statement, I had just spent an unreasonable amount of time in chat rooms, being completely ridiculous and utterly stupid. Not only was I waisting time procrastinating from assignments that needed to be completed, I was engaging in conversation that was completely dishonouring to God - even sinful. Probably interupted by a fellow student rather than my own conscience, I then proceeded to waist an even longer amount of time playing games online. That is when Sarah came in and started talking to me. Honestly, if it weren't for her that night, I don't know if I would be here today.
I had thought previously to this night and during that I would drop out of Tyndale and complete a trade through Sir Sanford Flemming in Peterborough (what I wanted to do in highschool). I was frustrated with myself, embarrassed of my faith - or lack thereof - and felt I would be better off leaving everything behind and starting a new life where noone knew me or had expectations for me to be a good Christian. I can't even remember what Sarah and I talked about, but I do know it was substantially challenging. And the end result was the above quotation, and remaining at Tyndale.
Since that night I have reconsidered what I had been thinking before, only to once again be reminded that no matter what I do, how much I fail and turn my back on God, and when I've come to the end of myself and my limits as Andrew Martin I can think of this, "...when all else seemingly falls apart...His love is strong, forever true, and from [me] will never depart."

Lyrics to ponder

I love this song, and have asked myself these questions over and over and over. the bold parts really stick out at me.

What if I stumble - DC Talk

Is this one for the people? Is this one for the Lord?
Or do I simply serenade for things I must afford?
You can jumble them together, my conflict still remains.
Holiness is calling, in the midst of courting fame
Cause I see the trust in their eyes Though the sky is falling
They need Your love in their lives Compromise is calling
What if I stumble; what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?

What if I stumble, what if I fall? You never turn in the heat of it all
What if I stumble, what if I fall? Father please forgive me for I can not compose
The fear that lives within me Or the rate at which it grows
If struggle has a purpose on the narrow road you've carved
Why do I dread my trespasses will leave a deadly scar
Do they see the fear in my eyes? Are they so revealing?
This time I cannot disguise all the doubt I'm feeling

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?

What if I stumble?
Everyone's got to crawl when you know thatYou're up against a wall. It's about to fall
Everyone's got to crawl when you know that I hear You whispering my name
[You say]"My love for You will never change" [never change]
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?

What if I stumble, what if I fall? You never turn in the heat of it all
What if I stumble, what if I fall? You are my comfort, and my God

Is this one for the people, is this one for the Lord?